Has America lost their damn minds? Why is Sanjaya Malakar still on American Idol? It’s almost as if he’s daring America to vote his talentless ass off, but they haven’t yet. If it weren’t for Melinda Doolittle, LaKisha Jones, Jordin Sparks and Blake Lewis, I’d swear this season of Idol has been one long episode of Punk’d. I keep waiting for Ashton Kutcher to come out from behind the curtain to let us know he’s punked us.

There seems to be a resurgence of biopics in Hollywood. For instance, in the past couple of years there has been Ray, Capote, Alexander, The Aviator and The Last King of Scotland to name a few. Heck, there’s even a life story about soul singer, Al Green, in the works with Mekhi Phifer wearing two hats as lead actor and director. *scratches my head on that one*

But did you know that Don Cheadle is set to direct and star in a biopic about the late jazz trumpeter, Miles Davis? Sounds like money in the bank, or shall I say box office, to me! Can’t wait to see Don bring the ever brooding Miles to the big screen.

So I’m watching NBC Nightly News last night when during a commercial break, they showed an Entertainment Tonight news exclusive. Britney Spears broke a tooth over the weekend. Da hell?

I broke a tooth on last year but did ET show up to do a story on me? I swear the media gives too much attention to stupid shit. Soldiers are dying in Iraq on a daily basis, gas prices are affecting the way we travel, unemployment is on the rise, but yet I have to hear some late breaking news about a disillusioned chick with a broken tooth.

Far be it for me to tell a mother how to raise her child, but could you please explain to me why some mothers are still breastfeeding their children at ages 3 and up? I don’t get that.

I saw some talk show last week where this mother was still breastfeeding her 3 year old son. Say what? First of all, if your child is able to physically unbutton your blouse, reach inside, grab one of your breasts and put it in his or her mouth, it’s time out for breastfeeding.

And then on Saturday, while I was picking up fluorescent lights at my local Home Depot, I saw a father with his son, who was clearly at least 4 or 5 years of age, walking around the store with a binkie (pacifier) in his mouth. The father was carrying on a conversation with the son who would not take the binkie out of his mouth. He was mumbling his words back to his father. Take the damn pacifier out of that kids mouth!

And don’t get me started on these adults who are still sucking their thumbs. That ain’t cute. I refuse to kick it with you if you are still sucking your thumb. Just don’t even come my way. I know we all have our little idiosyncrasies, but a grown ass thumb sucker is not the lick…….literally!

Mother’s Day is a couple of months away. Wanna do some shopping early for dear old Mom? Why not get her a purse? But Nikki, there are soooo many purses on the market today, which one shall I choose? Why the new Louis Vuitton Tribute Patchwork bag, of course.

And what, pray tell, is the price of said bag? A whopping $43,000! Are they fuckin’ serious? Who in their right mind would drop that much loot for such an ugly purse? This purse costs more than a Mercedes SLK280 Roadster.

I swear I could make one of these in a day. All I have to do is hit up my local Goodwill for scraps of leather, Walmart for the Ronco Bedazzler, Petsmart for dog chains and Omega Psi Phi for some gold spray paint to paint the dog chains for the purse strap.