The following story is 10% embellished.

*insert Law & Order “donk donk” gavel sound*

So Amn.eris and I were talking on Yahoo the other night, philosophisizin’ (see Boyz N The Hood for further reference) and whatnot, and I tell her that I have a crush on Savion Glover. The conversation went something like this….

Nikki: “Guess what?”

Amn.eris: “What?”

Nikki: “I have a crush on Savion Glover.”

Amn.eris: “Bring Da Funk Savion?”

Nikki: “Yeah.”

Amn.eris: “The little boy from Tap?”

Nikki: “Yeah.”

Amn.eris: “Bamboo…”

Nikki: “Yeah dammit from Bamboozled, that Savion! Girl, I be havin’ fantasies about him.”

Amn.eris: “Fantasies like what?”

Nikki: “All types of fantasies. He looks like he can throw down in the bed.”

Amn.eris: “Throw down in bed? The tap dancing dude?”

Nikki: “Yeah.”

Amn.eris: “The brotha who did the dancing for Happy Feet?”

Nikki: “Yeah.”

Amn.eris: “The guy who danced in the Cing…”

Nikki: “Yes dammit, the guy from the Cingular commercial! That Savion!”

Amn.eris: “Alright, you know me. I gotta ask. Anyway, back to these fantasies you’re having?”

Nikki: “So like I said, I’ve been having fantasies about Savion. He’s tall and slim with big feet too, so he gotta be packin’.”

Amn.eris: “Yeah, he does look like he’s hung! But you know me, I like ‘em chocolate.”

Nikki: “Hey now, don’t hate on Lite-Brite.”

Amn.eris: “Lite-Brite?”

Nikki: “Yeah, that’s my pet name for him. Now stop interrupting me and let me finish.”

Amn.eris: “Continue.”

Nikki: “So anyway, I keep having fantasies about me getting it on with him.”

Amn.eris: “With Savion?”

Nikki: “What other Savion do you know?”

Amn.eris: “My bad, continue.”

Nikki: “Girl, don’t make me hurt you. Now where was I?”

Amn.eris: “Getting it on with Lite-Brite.”

Nikki: “Right. So I keep having this fantasy that he and I are living together. He hasn’t had a gig in a while and he’s become lazy. I go out everyday to work and I’ve become the breadwinner, and everyday I come in from work, he’s sitting down on the couch playing Madden on the Playstation.”

Amn.eris: “Just trifling.”

Nikki: “Right. So everyday I’m like, “Isn’t there some casting call somewhere? Can’t you audition for something. And he’s like, “I’m an artist baby! I don’t go on auditions, they come to me!”

Amn.eris: “No he didn’t?”

Nikki: “Yes he did.”

Amn.eris: “So why don’t you leave him?”

Nikki: “Girl, I can’t.”

Amn.eris: “What you mean you can’t? It is your fantasy, right?”

Nikki: “Right.”

Amn.eris: “So leave his ass.”

Nikki: “That’s just it, I can’t leave him, because he’s constantly blowin’ my back out!”

Amn.eris: “Whut chu say!” *does the Holy Ghost hand wave*

Nikki: “Girl I’m serious. Some days he’ll just walk around the house all day, eating syrup sandwiches and wearing nothing but a towel around his waist and Nike sandals. Locs just cascading down his back. And he just grabs me, kisses me ferociously (Mrs. Butterworth syrup messing up my lipstick and shit) and has his way with me. It’s like a WWF wrestling match up in there.”

Amn.eris: “Wait a minute, the tap dancing guy is doin’ all of that?”

Nikki: “Yeah.”

Amn.eris: “The Tony Awards guy?”

Nikki: “Yeah.”

Amn.eris: “Lite-Bri….”

Nikki: “Yeah dammit, Lite-Brite, Cingular guy, Bamboozled, Tony Awards! It’s still Savion!”

Amn.eris: “So I guess he was tappin’ dat ass?”

Nikki: *sigh* “See, this is why my mama won’t let me go outside to play with you.”

*brief silence*

Both: “Ha ha ha ha!”

You want it, well I got it. Here’s the official album cover, as well as the limited edition cover, for Jill Scott’s upcoming album, The Real Thing: Words and Sounds, Vol. 3. Also here’s the tracklisting. And don’t forget, the album release date is September 25, 2007. Pick it up!

Tracklisting
01. Jill Scott - Let It Be
02. Jill Scott - The Real Thing
03. Jill Scott - Hate On Me
04. Jill Scott - Come See Me
05. Jill Scott - Crown Royal
06. Jill Scott - Epiphany
07. Jill Scott - My Love
08. Jill Scott - Insomnia
09. Jill Scott - How It Make You Feel
10. Jill Scott - Only You
11. Jill Scott - Whenever You’re Around
12. Jill Scott - Celibacy Blues
13. Jill Scott - All I
14. Jill Scott - Wanna Be Loved
15. Jill Scott - Breathe
16. Jill Scott - Imagination (Crown Royal Suite) (Bonus Track)
17. Jill Scott - Rightness (Bonus Track)

Earlier tonight, I tried to get into my car to leave my house to go and get a bite to eat, but something startled me. There is a bird in my garage. How he got in, I have no idea. And to make matters worse, he’s found a little nesting spot in a roll-up shade that hangs in my garage, which is located in the top of the garage on the side where I have to get into my car. If he doesn’t mess with me, I won’t mess with him.

In the neverending story of the Fallen Falcon, on yesterday, after entering a guilty plea in court, Michael Vick issued the following statement in a press conference:

“For most of my life, I’ve been a football player, not a public speaker, so, you know, I really don’t know, you know, how to say what I really want to say.

You know, I understand it’s - it’s important or not important, you know, as far as what you say but how you say things. So, you know, I take this opportunity just to speak from the heart.

First, I want to apologize, you know, for all the things that - that I’ve done and that I have allowed to happen. I want to personally apologize to commissioner Goodell, Arthur Blank, coach Bobby Petrino, my Atlanta Falcons teammates, you know, for our - for our previous discussions that we had. And I was not honest and forthright in our discussions, and, you know, I was ashamed and totally disappointed in myself to say the least.

I want to apologize to all the young kids out there for my immature acts and, you know, what I did was, what I did was very immature so that means I need to grow up.

I totally ask for forgiveness and understanding as I move forward to bettering Michael Vick the person, not the football player.

I take full responsibility for my actions. For one second will I sit right here - not for one second will I sit right here and point the finger and try to blame anybody else for my actions or what I’ve done.

I’m totally responsible, and those things just didn’t have to happen. I feel like we all make mistakes. It’s just I made a mistake in using bad judgment and making bad decisions. And you know, those things, you know, just can’t happen.

Dog fighting is a terrible thing, and I did reject it.

I’m upset with myself, and, you know, through this situation I found Jesus and asked him for forgiveness and turned my life over to God. And I think that’s the right thing to do as of right now.

Like I said, for this - for this entire situation I never pointed the finger at anybody else, I accepted responsibility for my actions of what I did and now I have to pay the consequences for it. But in a sense, I think it will help, you know, me as a person. I got a lot to think about in the next year or so.

I offer my deepest apologies to everybody out in there in the world who was affected by this whole situation. And if I’m more disappointed with myself than anything it’s because of all the young people, young kids that I’ve let down, who look at Michael Vick as a role model. And to have to go through this and put myself in this situation, you know, I hope that every young kid out there in the world watching this interview right now who’s been following the case will use me as an example to using better judgment and making better decisions.

Once again, I offer my deepest apologies to everyone. And I will redeem myself. I have to.

So I got a lot of down time, a lot of time to think about my actions and what I’ve done and how to make Michael Vick a better person.

Thank you.”

And by the way, he said he’s found God. Why is that always the case when someone gets into trouble, regardless of if they’re a celebrity, athlete, or even the person next door, they all of a sudden have some revelation that they’ve found Jesus?

Jesus is not lost. It is you who are lost, or else you wouldn’t be constantly getting into trouble. And why call on Him now? Don’t wait until trouble befalls you. As the old hymn says, “I need thee every hour…..I need thee.”

It really hurts to let go of someone that you love. It’s not something that I want to do, but it is something that I have to do. We’re just moving in two different directions, not with just our careers, but in other aspects of our relationship as well. I want to have kids. He doesn’t.

He’s been married and has a daughter as a result of that marriage. He’s expressed interest in marriage with me, but doesn’t want to have any kids. I don’t have any children of my own, and would at least like to have the opportunity to have one. And I’ve known about him not wanting any more kids since the day we started dating, but that wasn’t a factor, because we’d just started dating. Marriage was the last thing on my mind.

And as the relationship progressed and seemed like it may be going to the next level, that started to concern me. I should have nipped the relationship in the bud earlier, but because I’ve had a history with this man, being friends for nearly 8 years, I thought things may change. Not in a sense that I’d try to change him, but thinking that perhaps he would see it from my point of view as well.

So it is because of this, that I can no longer continue this relationship. It’s like that old song, I’m Leaving Baby, by Con Funk Shun where Michael Cooper laments, “I’m leaving you for me.” In other words, in order to help me, I have to leave you.