KIM = Keep It Moving

Posted by: Nikki   
September 14th,
2007

This is just my observation, so don’t go thinking that this is the Gospel. It’s just what I’ve noticed over the years. So here goes…

Let’s say that you’ve broken up with someone. Ladies, you’re out out on the town with your new boyfriend and you run into your ex-boyfriend and/or ex-husband. Women usually don’t have a problem introducing their new man to the ex, then keep it moving.

But let that be the other way around. A lot of men go out of their way to avoid their ex-girlfriend and/or ex-wife if they spot them while they’re out with their new girlfriend. It’s like they’re in the Navy Seals or something, hiding behind trees and barrels, crawling on the ground, etc. Telling the new girlfriend, “Get down! She might see us.” Is it that they expect confrontation?

Perfect scenario: Remember that jook joint scene in The Color Purple when Sophia walked into the place with her new boyfriend, Henry Broadnax? She introduced him to everyone including Harpo, her estranged husband. Then she kept it moving. But it was Harpo who just wouldn’t let it go. Heck, Sophia was even cordial to Harpo’s new lady love, Squeak, and tried to keep it moving, but even Squeak wouldn’t let it go. Just kept eggin’ at Sophia until she finally shut the joint down by knocking Squeak the fuck out.

Most women aren’t confrontational. I’m not talking about those loony chicks, because there are some, but for the most part we won’t bring it unless you bring it. Just keep it moving and everything will be alright.

This entry was posted on Friday, September 14th, 2007 at 10:49 am and is filed under Matters of the Heart. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
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12 Responses for "KIM = Keep It Moving"

courtney
September 14th, 2007 at 11:36 am   

Yeah, that secrecy and hiding BS is for the birds.
Don’t guys realize that if they’re hiding and dodging, we’re gonna wanna know WHY?
You create more issues for yourself by being all extra’d out. *smh* Men.

Tiki
September 14th, 2007 at 1:12 pm   

Sounds like my ex. His stuff was all covert, but I was cordial with mine.

Amadeo
September 14th, 2007 at 3:18 pm   

I don’t hide, but I’m not really trying to run into an ex….really, really, really not.

AG
September 15th, 2007 at 6:22 am   

At the risk of stirring the estrogen… Let me give you the MAN perspective.. In my experience females have proven to be emotional. Not to paint all women with broad brush, I do not make a point to go out of my way to communicate with any ‘ex’. It never occurred to me to introduce the next female to the ex-girlfriend. Call me the B’klyn dodger.. Too much drama in your day ;)

Nikki
September 15th, 2007 at 9:05 am   

AG, it’s not about going out of one’s way to communicate with the ex, but there are times when people have run into their exes while out with the new love. Say at a mall or a nightclub. When that happens, there’s no need to break and run in the opposite direction. You can speak, and keep it moving.

Melinda
September 15th, 2007 at 4:00 pm   

If the guy was the person who initiated the breakup with ole gurl…then strolling down the street with the new chick…will make him uncomfortable because he knows that it’s a prime indication that he’s moved one. The perception in generally is that men move on easier….

And yes most women are not tyrannical maniacs…but women do react to seeing their ex’s(particualarly if they aren’t dating) and some women are bold enough to throw negative energy…at the new chicks way….

I’ve been there…and although hypothetically it should be smooth sailing maturity flowing…it never is….

Yakeisha
September 16th, 2007 at 9:44 am   

I kinda agree with Melinda, and i think if the breakup wasn’t so negative then a small introduction isn’t a bad thing. But you don’t have to do the introduction either, but no need to run in opposite directions. IF you see your ex you can do what polite people the world over do, they say hi, smile and keep it moving, no need to stop and have any kind of convo

Ahd Child
September 17th, 2007 at 7:41 am   

From what I know of myself and from what I’ve seen in my friends, I haven’t noticed men switching to navy seal tactics when their exes are around. How I would react if I ran into an ex while with my lady depends on my current relationship with the ex.
- If we are friends, of course she’ll get introduced.
- If we don’t speak but are cordial, she’ll get a “hi” and that’s it. Why take the time to go through introductions with someone I don’t speak to. Most likely there would be plenty of fake smiles and stuff.
- If the ex and I are not on friendly terms, I won’t go out of my way to avoid her, but she definitely wouldn’t get introduced.

summer
September 17th, 2007 at 10:02 am   

i like AHD Child’s analysis.

Another factor I might add would be the maturity level or ego-trippingness :) of the guy:

If he’s immature and believes the fantasy in his head that women can’t get over him, then he’s going to assume that every ex has an ax to grind cause they’re not over him yet. Thus avoidance. I have dated that kind, and it has taken every fiber of my being not to announce, “Don’t nobody want cho punk ass; It was mutual momofuko!”

melette
September 17th, 2007 at 10:18 am   

I agree with you on this one, Nikki.

julia
September 17th, 2007 at 10:54 am   

WOO GIRL! I wish my situation was this cordial! My ex acted a damn donkey when I was spotted out with someone else….and I wasn’t even on a date, it was just a friend! In other saner cases, you are absolutely on the money! This was hilarious and you gave me a new acronym to use!

jdid
September 18th, 2007 at 2:23 pm   

actually dudes hide from everyone related to the old girlfriend when they’ve got a new girl on their arm. i think its basically an avoidance of drama situation

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