My mom baked banana nut bread on Saturday. Mom always says that she can’t cook, but in reality, she can really throw down in the kitchen. So anyway, the family always looks forward to when my mom bakes banana nut bread, because it’s like once you started eating it, it’s hard to stop. It’s just that delicious.

So after she finished baking and let it cool, she invited my cousins, brother and I to partake of some. She told us, “Don’t eat that much at one time.” Now, I did warn you that it was so damn good that once you took a bite, you would want another, and another, and another. But let us not forget that bananas are fiber. So basically, the next day, you’re going to be regular, whether you wanted to be regular or not.

Well, on Sunday afternoon, my cousins, brother and I were outside playing with the younger cousins. Volleyball, tag and whatnot. And suddenly, my stomach started rumbling, so I paused a sec, then kept on playing. The next thing I knew, everybody else was experiencing rumbling sounds coming from their abdomen. I guess that running around kinda stirred up things and I said to myself, “Oh oh, this won’t be pretty.”

So imagine like 7 adults and 5 kids trying to make a mad dash to the house to occupy 3 toilets. My mom was like, “I told y’all to ease up on the banana nut bread on yesterday.” Now it’s an all out war to get to the porcelin God. Mothers against daughters, fathers against sons, brother against sister. We’re pushing and shoving. “I was here first. No I was here first.” We went through 3 cans of Lysol and a half a bottle of Febreeze. I think my colon was cleansed for the entire year.

Memo to self: No more of Mom’s banana nut bread for Nikki.