Ahhhhh, love is in the air. Valentine’s Day is tomorrow, but I have a question. How do you stay friends with a couple when you know that one of them is cheating? Here’s the deal…..

A male friend of mine is friends with this couple that he’s known since his college days. He’s the frat brother of the husband and godfather of the couple’s daughter. But whenever he and his frat go out for a “boys night out”, his frat takes off his wedding band and places it in the ashtray of whatever car they’re riding in.

The frat brother flirts with various women and/or has slept with a few over the years, most times under the knowing eye of my friend. When the evening’s outing is over, the frat brother puts his wedding band back on his finger and goes home like nothing has ever happened.

So my question is, if you’re friends with the couple and you know that the husband is cheating on his wife, how can you even look her in the face, let alone your goddaughter, knowing that your boy is cheating on her? The wife is your friend too. And to make matters worse, he actually knew the wife before he met the frat brother. They’d met a year prior to he and his frat brother pledging. Heck, he even introduced the wife to the frat brother.

My brother and I have this strict policy. We never date each other’s friends. We do so because we don’t want to have the other lose a good friend if the relationship goes sour. Because that’s what happened in the past when I dated one of my brother’s friends.

It was a bitter breakup and my brother became that shoulder for me to lean on when I was hurt, and my brother decided it was best not to continue the friendship because he didn’t want to physically hurt him for breaking my heart.

So I haven’t dated a friend of my brother’s since then. But I got a call from one of my brother’s friends on Sunday who is in town visiting family, and he’s asked me out to dinner while he’s in town. It would be fine if we were just going out as friends, but this is a guy whom both he and I were diggin’ on each other in the past, but never acted upon it because of the No Dating Friends clause that my brother and enforce.

And if we go to dinner and have a good time, I may want to see him again……and again……and again. This would all be perfect too, because my brother is out of town this week. He won’t find out about it, right? WRONG! The truth always has a way of coming out, no matter how you try to hide it. So my brother will find out about it at some point, especially if the guy and I want to keep seeing each other on a regular.

But what if that relationship turns sour? Will my brother lose that good friend like he did in the past? I would hate for that to ever occur again. There’s never an easy answer to to life’s questions when it comes to dating. What to do, oh what to do?

This is just my observation, so don’t go thinking that this is the Gospel. It’s just what I’ve noticed over the years. So here goes…

Let’s say that you’ve broken up with someone. Ladies, you’re out out on the town with your new boyfriend and you run into your ex-boyfriend and/or ex-husband. Women usually don’t have a problem introducing their new man to the ex, then keep it moving.

But let that be the other way around. A lot of men go out of their way to avoid their ex-girlfriend and/or ex-wife if they spot them while they’re out with their new girlfriend. It’s like they’re in the Navy Seals or something, hiding behind trees and barrels, crawling on the ground, etc. Telling the new girlfriend, “Get down! She might see us.” Is it that they expect confrontation?

Perfect scenario: Remember that jook joint scene in The Color Purple when Sophia walked into the place with her new boyfriend, Henry Broadnax? She introduced him to everyone including Harpo, her estranged husband. Then she kept it moving. But it was Harpo who just wouldn’t let it go. Heck, Sophia was even cordial to Harpo’s new lady love, Squeak, and tried to keep it moving, but even Squeak wouldn’t let it go. Just kept eggin’ at Sophia until she finally shut the joint down by knocking Squeak the fuck out.

Most women aren’t confrontational. I’m not talking about those loony chicks, because there are some, but for the most part we won’t bring it unless you bring it. Just keep it moving and everything will be alright.

It really hurts to let go of someone that you love. It’s not something that I want to do, but it is something that I have to do. We’re just moving in two different directions, not with just our careers, but in other aspects of our relationship as well. I want to have kids. He doesn’t.

He’s been married and has a daughter as a result of that marriage. He’s expressed interest in marriage with me, but doesn’t want to have any kids. I don’t have any children of my own, and would at least like to have the opportunity to have one. And I’ve known about him not wanting any more kids since the day we started dating, but that wasn’t a factor, because we’d just started dating. Marriage was the last thing on my mind.

And as the relationship progressed and seemed like it may be going to the next level, that started to concern me. I should have nipped the relationship in the bud earlier, but because I’ve had a history with this man, being friends for nearly 8 years, I thought things may change. Not in a sense that I’d try to change him, but thinking that perhaps he would see it from my point of view as well.

So it is because of this, that I can no longer continue this relationship. It’s like that old song, I’m Leaving Baby, by Con Funk Shun where Michael Cooper laments, “I’m leaving you for me.” In other words, in order to help me, I have to leave you.

While out with friends, I met a cute guy this weekend. We had a great conversation over dinner and drinks, but I should have known something was about to go wrong when he called my cell phone before I could leave out of the parking lot of the restaurant.

I thought to myself, “He’s probably checking to see if I gave him a fake number or not.” So I let that slide. But the next day, the called me 5 times in a row. What’s up with that? Could that good looking physique and intellectual mind be all a facade for some deeper underlying issue?

Dude, we literally just met. Why are you calling me so often? Anytime a guy does something like that, it’s an instant turn off. You’re sending up red flags and you don’t even realize it. I hate to call him a Bugaboo, but right now he is. Guess I’m gonna have to tell him to lose my number if he keeps this up.