I’ve just about had it with Robert Kelly aka R Kelly aka The Pied Piper of R&B aka Cleared of All Charges aka The Remix Killer.  First he took it upon himself to remix The Dream’s Shawty Is The Shit.  Alright, I’ll let that one slide because truth be told, that song wasn’t shit to begin with.

Then he did a remix of Mariah Carey’s Touch My Body.  Another subpar song that I didn’t give a damn about.  But now that you’ve decided to remix Raheem DeVaughn’s Customer, in the words of Bill Duke in Menace II Society, “You know you done fucked up, right?”

You say things in the song like, I got some good, good lemonade?  Dude, keep the golden showers to yourself.  That’s part of what got your ass in trouble in the first place.  Why did you do this, A-Ruh?  You took a song that was fun, sensual and tasteful, and you soiled it……..literally (Drip, drip, drip) .  I don’t think that Raheem’s intent when he first released it.

Raheem had the perfect mix of a play on words describing his body and the love he has to give as food being served to a customer, and you took it upon yourself to raunch it up.  Don’t get me wrong, I like a little kink.  Who am I kidding?  I like a lot of kink!  But I like some class as well, and that’s what Raheem brought to the song.  So Kels, how about you just sing your own songs and stop trying to remix other artists songs?

Bob Johnson………sit yo ass down somewhere! First you dog Obama out while you’re rallying in support of Hillary Clinton, and now that she’s not the Democratic nominee for President, you’re practically demanding that Obama takes her on as his running mate for Vice President.

Word on the street is that you’ve sent a letter to the Congressional Black Caucus urging them to force Barack Obama to make Hillary his VP running mate. Obama will make his choice when he’s good and ready. You won’t even let Obama enjoy this moment. You just had to interject yourself into the situation.

And what if Obama doesn’t want Hillary as his second in command, Bob? What are you gonna do? Create another BET to set African Americans back even further? Is Hillary blowin’ you are what? Look, I applaud you for trying to go that extra mile, but dude, dial it down a notch. This sounds like a desperate attempt from a sore loser.

Some friends and I decided to go to a local Waffle House for breakfast before church this morning. So we’re at the table talking about how our weekend turned out and perused through the menu to place our orders. And then our server comes…………with pink braids.

Not a soft, pale pink (like that really makes a difference), but hot pink. And I’m not talking microbraids, either. I’m talkin’ about the big dookie braids that Janet Jackson rocked in Poetic Justice. Big ass pink, or as we say down South, pank, braids. And get this……..no hair net. *gasp*

Now I’m not one to be rude to waitresses, because I don’t want anyone spitting in my food, but this chick ain’t had not nann (yeah, I broke every verb with that one) hair net on and I’m supposed to let her serve me food? I think not.

I politely gathered my things and told my friends, “I’ll see you guys at church. And I’ll pray that you don’t choke on a pink strand of hair.”

How do you go from winning $100,000 in a settlement last year, to losing your house this year? My brother’s next door neighbor’s house is up for foreclosure. What I fail to understand is how this could happen? I mean I know how it happened. He didn’t pay his mortgage, but why the fuck not? That’s what I want to know!

You won a personal lawsuit on last year of $100,000+, yet you don’t pay your mortgage? And what da hell did you spend it on, because I don’t see anything new at your house. You’re still driving the same SUV you’ve been driving for over 5yrs. There’s no new furniture in your home. No new appliances or electronics. You don’t have any kids, so there’s no child to support.

Where did the money go? Just blew it all away, and nothing to show for it. Now I see why your wife divorced you. You are just plain stupid.

My friends always tell me that I’m brutally honest. I don’t bite my tongue when it comes to telling you what’s on my mind. Sometimes that’s a good thing, sometimes that’s a bad thing. I think I inherited that trait from my mom.

This evening, mom was reading our local newspaper and when she started perusing the obituaries, she said to me, “Umph, this is so sad.” I said, “What’s sad?” She replied, “A set of 1 day old twins died.” To which in turn I replied, “Awwww, that is sad.” She said, “No, that’s not the sad part.”

So now I’m like, “How can that not be sad? Losing a child has got to be a terrible thing.” She replied, “The sad part is that the twins were named Mar’Quarium and Mi’Zarium.” *blank stare* Now here’s the kicker, mom then said, “It’s a good thing they didn’t live long enough to find out that they had such fucked up names.”

At this point, I am on the floor literally laughing my ass off and trying to berate my mom at the same time for being so mean. So I say to her, “C’mon mom, that was soooo not a nice thing to say.” She looks at me and says, “Don’t tell me you weren’t thinking the same thing?” I replied, “Well, yeah.”

And don’t take this post the wrong way. Both my mother and I have sympathy for the parents who have lost their babies, but those names………why, Lawd? *shaking my head*