Your girl almost died at a Mother’s Day BBQ.  Lemme tell you how it happened…….

I love spicy foods, even though I know that they’re not good for me, because I tend to suffer from acid reflux.  So what do I do?  I eat spicy foods anyway.  And living down South, that’s kinda hard to escape because that’s part of the beauty of Southern cooking, the use of spices.

So I’m attending a BBQ on Mother’s Day and I’m dining on BBQ ribs, jambalaya, crawfish and corn on the cob which has been boiled in crawfish boil.  And what do I wash it all down with?  Well, margaritas of course.  This a recipe for death!

After ingesting all of those spicy foods, combined with the tequila in the margarita, my fuckin’ heart stopped!  I kid you not.  I blacked out momentarily and had an out of body experience.  I was screaming, but no words were coming out.  My friends were running to help me and everyone was panicking because I was panicking.

Luckily, most of my friends are nurses and one of them had sense enough to ask for glasses of milk for me to drink to coat my insides.  But there was no regular milk on hand at the BBQ.  The moms at the BBQ were able to scrap up Similac in their baby bags, so I had to down glasses (or shall I say bottles) of Simlac until I could get my bearings.

Thank God for Mothers!  They came to my rescue and the Similac was a lifesaver.  And for the record, Similac is nastier than a mofo.  Babies must have awful tastebuds.